Since Angela was born... No... Since Angela was conceived, Monika and I always knew there would be at least one trip to Poland to meet family/friends before she turned 2 years old. For those of you without kids, 2 is the magic age where the airlines consider your child a person and no longer let them fly for free. We had been looking at the calendar for some time and finally decided that May (this month) was as good a time as any to go. The weather is getting pretty good in Poland and Monika would be there for her Mother's big birthday party. Just a good time.
As we started to plan the trip, it just wasn't really feasible for me to go too. As much as I want to go see my extended family again and visit my friends, we decided I would have to skip this trip. What began to dawn on me was that Monika and Angela would be GONE for an extended period of time. When we finally booked the trip, it turned out to be 17 days. Since Monika and I moved in together, we have only spent two nights apart. The night before our wedding, and the night after Angela was born while Monika was still in the hospital. How the **** was I going to deal with her being gone for 17 days!? How was I going to deal with not seeing my little girl for that long?! I started feeling some anxiety and I had visions of Angela having changed to the point I won't even recognize her by the time she gets back. Not only will she be walking, but she will be doing long division, driving a car... have a job... *breathe*...*breathe*...*breathe*...
My little internal panic attack didn't last long, but boy did it surprise me. I am getting a little worked up just writing about it. Monika and Angela's flight leaves Vegas in about 5 hours (from the time I wrote this... not when I posted it), and I don't like how I feel. I am being a bit of a drama queen, but I can't help it... I know how empty the house is going to be without them and I know how lonely I will be until they get back. I am nervous about Monika taking our 11 month old little girl on such a long journey. Not worried that anything bad will happen... I just know that the trip is going to be a tough one having to hold Angela in her lap for such a long time. I pray Angela sleeps. The saving grace may be that going over, it is at least an overnight flight... It will be Angela's sleeping time. We shall see.
During the time I am home alone, I am scheduling things to keep me busy. I am playing golf several times... got some work around the house that has been begging for my attention for quite a while... Subbing in a bowling league... I will stay busy, but no matter what I try I know I won't be able to stop counting the minutes until my girls come home. The house will be so empty without my family.
--C
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