Before I get to the main subject of this post, I want to say that I am not writing about myself. This isn't a situation I am personally dealing with or observing, but is based on the experiences a good friend is having to endure right now. Listening to this person's story I find myself listening and shaking my head. I hate knowing that I live in a world where the cliques of high school still have power.
Personally...I was completely oblivious in high school and college... and I guess to some extent still today. On some level I always knew the cliques existed, but they did not govern my day to day being. I felt comfortable regardless of the group I was with and never saw them as a big deal. It wasn't until years later I can look back and see some faces pressed up against the glass wanting to be let into some of the places I seemed to walk without hesitation. Even sitting here thinking about my current life... I can see them... Certain people spend time with other particular people the majority of the day only letting outsiders in as a change of pace. I just don't have a problem approaching that group (or any group) in an effort to include myself.
Fortunately for me, I am blessed in that the cliques I do see don't govern my well being or those around me. They just don't have that power, and I don't think even if they did it would have negative consequences for me. My friend however... this isn't the case. He/She (being ambiguous on purpose) can see a horrible wrong starting to happen to people he/she cares about... But because he/she isn't part of the right clique, all her pleas for help or even a little common sense fall on deaf ears. "He/she is the new kid on the block. He/she just doesn't understand how things are done. He/she needs to sit back and watch until he/she is ready to play the game the right way... until they are part of the clique." So he/she can just sit back and watch events unfold that may very well be a detriment to people he/she cares about.
In his/her case, what does it take to be part of the group and to be truly listened? Finally having your sense and will beaten down to the point where you just don't care? Until you become a "yes man/woman" who knows his/her place and won't rock the boat. I suspect in the environment I am referring to that as long as you disagree with the group, you aren't read to be a part of it. Group mentality run amuck. I sat listening to this story unfold for what must have been over an hour tonight... and I didn't know what to say or do. I want her/him to just break the clique and do what needs to be done or at least say what needs to be said... Will it happen? I don't know. It seems that the glass you are looking at the in-crowd through is a little thicker than I thought... or hoped it would be.
To my friend who may never read this blog... My thoughts are with you and I hope you can navigate the murky waters to bring yourself as well as the ones you care about through. As I turn in for the night. Regardless of what happens, you have my support.
For the rest of you out there... Look around from time to time and invite outsiders to be a part of your group... even if it is just for a little while. It can be cold outside.
--C
Personally...I was completely oblivious in high school and college... and I guess to some extent still today. On some level I always knew the cliques existed, but they did not govern my day to day being. I felt comfortable regardless of the group I was with and never saw them as a big deal. It wasn't until years later I can look back and see some faces pressed up against the glass wanting to be let into some of the places I seemed to walk without hesitation. Even sitting here thinking about my current life... I can see them... Certain people spend time with other particular people the majority of the day only letting outsiders in as a change of pace. I just don't have a problem approaching that group (or any group) in an effort to include myself.
Fortunately for me, I am blessed in that the cliques I do see don't govern my well being or those around me. They just don't have that power, and I don't think even if they did it would have negative consequences for me. My friend however... this isn't the case. He/She (being ambiguous on purpose) can see a horrible wrong starting to happen to people he/she cares about... But because he/she isn't part of the right clique, all her pleas for help or even a little common sense fall on deaf ears. "He/she is the new kid on the block. He/she just doesn't understand how things are done. He/she needs to sit back and watch until he/she is ready to play the game the right way... until they are part of the clique." So he/she can just sit back and watch events unfold that may very well be a detriment to people he/she cares about.
In his/her case, what does it take to be part of the group and to be truly listened? Finally having your sense and will beaten down to the point where you just don't care? Until you become a "yes man/woman" who knows his/her place and won't rock the boat. I suspect in the environment I am referring to that as long as you disagree with the group, you aren't read to be a part of it. Group mentality run amuck. I sat listening to this story unfold for what must have been over an hour tonight... and I didn't know what to say or do. I want her/him to just break the clique and do what needs to be done or at least say what needs to be said... Will it happen? I don't know. It seems that the glass you are looking at the in-crowd through is a little thicker than I thought... or hoped it would be.
To my friend who may never read this blog... My thoughts are with you and I hope you can navigate the murky waters to bring yourself as well as the ones you care about through. As I turn in for the night. Regardless of what happens, you have my support.
For the rest of you out there... Look around from time to time and invite outsiders to be a part of your group... even if it is just for a little while. It can be cold outside.
--C
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I hate being alone!