I won't go into what put me in a bad mood because A) it isn't important, and B) I won't care in the morning. If I blog about what put me here, I will just get all shades of pissed off again when/if I ever re-read this entry.
What the events of my evening did do was get me thinking about how I (and maybe others too) live day-to-day life. There are things you have to do. Feed the cats... Clean out the litter box (gross)... Go to work... Not shoot a missile launcher at people who drive slow in the fast lane... What I fail to understand is why time and time again I allow events to take a path that I KNOW will end badly. I think I heard the definition of insanity is to repeat the same event over and over again and expect a different outcome. I don't think I am there yet because I just KNOW the outcome is not going to change. I don't even know if I would want the outcome to change. Basically if I let things happen or occur, there just isn't a realistic decent outcome.
This begs the question (sorry Brett)... Why do I repeat actions that are only going to cause me grief? I don't enjoy being pissed. I don't enjoy feeling upset. I don't enjoy fighting with other people. I don't like to go to bed angry. What gives?
At least I think I am going to stop a repeat of tonight's events the next opportunity I get. I am tired of ending evenings feeling like this. Next time, I am just going to say no. No means no!
--C
What the events of my evening did do was get me thinking about how I (and maybe others too) live day-to-day life. There are things you have to do. Feed the cats... Clean out the litter box (gross)... Go to work... Not shoot a missile launcher at people who drive slow in the fast lane... What I fail to understand is why time and time again I allow events to take a path that I KNOW will end badly. I think I heard the definition of insanity is to repeat the same event over and over again and expect a different outcome. I don't think I am there yet because I just KNOW the outcome is not going to change. I don't even know if I would want the outcome to change. Basically if I let things happen or occur, there just isn't a realistic decent outcome.
This begs the question (sorry Brett)... Why do I repeat actions that are only going to cause me grief? I don't enjoy being pissed. I don't enjoy feeling upset. I don't enjoy fighting with other people. I don't like to go to bed angry. What gives?
At least I think I am going to stop a repeat of tonight's events the next opportunity I get. I am tired of ending evenings feeling like this. Next time, I am just going to say no. No means no!
--C
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